Yes Lord, I'll Be Baptized in Your Nameby Rena Blake Dillman

As I sat listening to the sermon being preached, I felt a stirring in my heart to obey the voice of God that continued to resound in my head.  For many weeks I had been listening to that voice.  I had tried to reason with the One whose voice I had heard.  Just two months before I had received the Holy Ghost.  Constantly I talked to the Lord - “Lord, I’ve already been baptized.  Why would I need to be re-baptized?  Wouldn’t that be offensive to you?  I have never felt exactly right about my first baptism, but I don’t know if it is you I’m listening to or myself.”   My mind kept drifting back to the first experience.

 I was only five years old when baptized the first time, and I didn’t feel good about it.  The minister lost his grip when he brought me up and was slow in finding me in the water.  I panicked and came up like a missile.  Everyone in the auditorium thought it was funny and laughed.  I didn’t think it was at all funny.   I almost drowned on the day of my baptism.

I kept thinking of the scriptures - Acts 2:38, “Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.” and Mark 16:16, “He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.” I was feeling very uncomfortable. I felt a tug at my heart. Reverend Carson kept preaching. He was talking about obedience with tears flowing down his face. “Yes Lord, I’ll be baptized in your name,” I heard him say. I knew what I needed to do but first needed to ask Reverend Carson a few questions. I sat in my seat during the altar call which was quite lengthy. He continued to extend the call and was on his face praying behind the pulpit. In my heart I knew he was praying for me.

After the service ended, I asked Reverend Carson if I could talk to him.  My defensive side asked many questions about his sermon.  Was he talking about me?  The tears were starting up again.  My heart was pounding.  I had come to a crossroads with no turning back.  Today was the day; I had to obey the voice of God.  My brother Ron was with me, and he was grinning because he knew I had finally come to the realization that I needed to be baptized in the name of Jesus.  We decided to go get a sandwich and return later for the baptism.  I was too excited to eat much.  Now that I had made my decision, I wanted to get it done.

Reverend Carson and his wife Martha, their children Rachael and David, my brother Ron and I gathered for my baptism.  The baptismal was a horse trough behind the pulpit, and the water was freezing.  When I stepped into the water, it became unexplainably warm.   I went down into the water one person and came up another.  I felt love like never before and forgave those that I had harbored unforgiveness in my heart for years.  A thousand pounds seemingly came off my back.  The sins I had carried for all those years were remitted, left behind in that water trough.  I felt so light.

After I dressed and came out everyone said I looked different - that my countenance was changed. I felt so warm and glowing, as if I was floating a little bit above the floor. This feeling lasted three days. I had the sudden realization of now being rapture ready. This was an assurance never experienced before - if I would die at that moment or the Lord came for me, I would be ready. Reverend Carson said I had to come to this realization for myself. I told him that this was what I had been hungering and thirsting for but had not known it. Not only was my void filled, I was overflowing with completeness. When walking down the street and looking at people passing by, I expected them to stop and ask what had happened and to tell me they could see the changes.

My family was not as excited about these changes.  I can understand their confusion.  In all likelihood I probably would have reacted similarly if things were reversed.  I want to take this opportunity twenty years later to share with my family I love you more now than I ever could have loved you without this experience.  I hope the love shown you these past years has been the Christ kind of love flowing through me.  I want to thank you for accepting me as I am now.  Truly, I have been blessed by God in not only having my family but through the many friends that He has brought into my life to share this wonderful experience.

I also want to take this opportunity to thank Reverend Carson and his wife Martha for sharing this gospel, for mentoring and pastoring, and for being the very best friends that God could have possibly given.

My prayer is again and always will be that my family and friends will hear and obey this Acts 2:38 message. I have given this account of my baptism experience so that it might help someone to say, “Yes Lord, I will be baptized in your name.”

Rena Blake Dillman (revised June 2005)